Wine for the Confused is a
documentary-style film that teaches viewers the most basic information about
being a wine connoisseur. The famous actor John Cleese serves as the host for
this film. He claimed in the beginning that although he holds wine in high
esteem, he didn’t know much about the art of being a wine drinker. The rest of
the film served as his own journey, as well as the audience’s, to better
understand wine culture. The films attempts to spice up the sometimes dull
information with a bit of humor from the host.
Something
that John Cleese notes multiple times throughout the documentary is the same
thing that has been pounded into our heads in the Geography of Wine class –
don’t let anyone tell you what wine you should like, you are the master of your
own palate. Cleese tells us to keep that in mind from the very beginning of the
wine journey. Aside from learning the process of making wine, he also
emphasizes the importance of gaining a good vocabulary on how to describe the
smell and taste of wines.
Much
of the movie takes place in Santa Barbara, California. This is Cleese’s first
stop in the movie, and is where he learns about the process of fermentation by
a wine producer. They note the formula for creating alcohol, as we learned in
class is yeast + sugar -> carbon dioxide + alcohol.
While learning
about the fermentation process, Cleese learns about what he calls the “3 Great
Whites.” These are Riesling, Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay. Though Cleese
thought that Riesling was only made as a sweet wine, he learned that it can
also serve as a dry wine through the fermentation process. This relates to what
we’ve learned in class because we now know that drier wines have likely been
fermenting longer than sweeter wines do. This gives more time for more sugar to
convert into alcohol. The dry sensation also comes from the tannins in the
wine, which come from the grape skins that assist in the fermentation process.
With Sauvignon
Blanc, the host learned that this type of grape variety in wine is usually
described as more acidic. From class, we know that in white wines, the acidic
taste comes primarily from malic acid. As malic acid decreases over time, this
means that a lot of Sauvignon Blanc grapes probably don’t sit on the vine too
long before being harvested. An interesting fact that the wine producer told
Cleese was that fruitiness detected in a wine doesn’t always mean that the wine
is sweeter. We learned in class that acidity in a wine usually has to be well
balanced with the sugar content. So the wine producer in the film was basically
saying that you could sub the sugar content with fruitiness and it will have
the same balancing effect.
The last “Great
White” they discuss is Chardonnay. The host and wine producer discussed how Chardonnay
is typically described as “creamy” and “buttery”. They noted that “creamy” was
more of a textural sensation and buttery was an actual flavor. Just as we
learned in class, to get the creaminess in Chardonnay, it is put through a malolactic
fermentation where the malic acid naturally present in the grape juice is
converted into lactic acid, which gives it more of a milky sensation. We also
learned that the buttery flavor in Chardonnays come from being aged in oak for
a certain amount of time. The more time the wine sits in the oak barrels, the
stronger that buttery taste becomes.
Before talking
about the 3 “Big Reds,” John Cleese conducts an experiment with some of his
friends. He puts wine in opaque bottles and has each of his friends drink them.
They all discover that they can’t tell simply by the taste whether the wine is
red or white. I found that extremely interesting because I’ve always thought
whites and reds to differ severely in not only taste, but tactile sensation.
Cleese mentions that red wine gets it color from the grape juice sitting in its
own skins after the grapes have been crushed.
The first “Big
Red” that John Cleese explores is Pinot Noir. He learns that this wine is the
most difficult to make because the grape variety is so fickle to grow. He says
this wine is typically described as having flavors of plum, cherries and black
pepper.
For Merlot and
Cabernet Sauvignon, the host of the film travels to Australia. We know from
class that this is a good geographic region to grow grapes for red wines
because of the warmer, drier climate they have in Australia.
Merlot is the
second “Big Red” that John Cleese learns about from an Australian wine
producer. The producer said that this grape variety in wines is typically
described as having flavors of red plums, bing cherries, and spice. In the film, they talk about the
importance of vintage. As we know from class, climate has the biggest effect on
wine making. If a certain vintage year suffered unpredictable weather, the
product won’t likely taste as good as other vintage years where the weather was
ideal for growing the certain types of grapes.
Punching down the
cap is also mentioned in the documentary. We know from class that this process
can be necessary for the grape juice to get better contact with the skins,
therefore increasing the color of the wine and the tannins, among other things.
Cabernet Sauvignon
is the last grape variety the film specifically mentions. It is the third and
final “Big Red.” The wine producer particularly discusses the influence of terrior
on wine flavors with Cleese. We know from class that terroir comes form the
French word for “land,” which basically eludes to the influences the soils and
surrounding environment has on the flavors the grapes absorb. The wine producer
in the film gives an example of the eucalyptus tree that is purposefully
planted near his grape vines. The tree’s proximity with the grapes will likely
give it some of its flavor. An interesting fact that I learned in this part of
the film was that if a Cabernet Sauvignon has a green bell pepper flavor, it usually
means that the grapes hadn’t properly ripened when they were picked.
In the rest of the
film, John Cleese learns about buying wine and how to store/serve it. This last
part of the film takes place back in Santa Barbara, California. Cleese learns
that when buying wine in restaurants, you will likely see the price shoot up
2.5 times what it would be if you just went out and bought it yourself. A way
you can tell if a server is trying to trick you into buying a crappy,
overpriced wine is if they have overly dramatic, cheesy movements and speech
when talking about the particular wine.
When storing the
wine, the film’s host learns from an expert that you should keep whites stored
below 60 degrees and avoid sunlight and vibration. Reds are kept in much the
same condition, except their temperature should be closer to room temperature.
They also mention that the type of glass a wine is presented in can somewhat
significantly effect the taste. In one of the Gary Vaynerchuk videos we’ve
watched for our Geography of Wine class, he did the exact same experiment.
However, in Gary’s video, although he said the glass made some difference, the
overall effect was barely detectable.
Overall I thought
Wine for the Confused was very direct
and I appreciated the small bouts of humor. I think it is a perfect
introduction into the wine world and almost entirely reiterated everything
we’ve learned in class so far. I would definitely recommend this film to anyone
who is serious about wanting to learn about wine. As for a Saturday night date movie?
Not so much.
